without power

what's a superhero without his power

how will Kal-El feel if he loses his power? how will he feels about him being no longer a superman?

how did Xavier's students felt about losing their special ability when they got shot by specialized bullet made by some maniacs who wanted world without mutants.

how do you feel if something that describes you, show your center, and make you feel alive is no longer there inside of you?

that's how i feel when i lost my ability to be active.

lemme tell you something about myself.

i was once set my mind to be an athlete, because i really love sport. i get involved in so many sport activities like olahraga, netball, hockey, and yadayadayada. i think, maybe sbb active masuk macam2 sukan, so my body just maintain walaupun makan banyak mana pun. and the weird part is, tak pernah kenyang. Dulu kan, all i could think was sports. appearance semua tak heran. sampai ada sekali classmate gelak, sebab masuk kelas peluh2 and masukkan tudung dalam baju dengan kemas. they called me "skema" but actually nak halang dari angin tanggalkan tudung tu. Even my teacher said "awak ni selalu takde dalam kelas,asek2 koko je". Banyak lagi kenangan2 time dulu..and then suddenly taktau macam mana, tetiba nak jadi something yang travel..geologist sebagai contoh. Maybe sbb selalu tgk cerita dkt National Geographic and adventure2 movie tu kot. oh i have such a deep affection for nature.

form 1, i started dropping sports..suddenly something went wrong with my body condition at that time. form 2 i revived, entering cross country and won 3rd place. but then, my years straight onward became worst. my body had gotten weaker. but i forced myself. i wanted to enter sports. i miss sports activities. Unfortunately, i couldn't. i couldn't let myself stay under the sunlight for too long, or else i will have serious nosebleed. so high school, they called me "puteri lilin". i don't know what's that suppose to mean. maybe because i told them i don't want to get tanned?lol. oh forgot to mention, i am no longer what you called "makan apa je tetap kurus jugak,badan slim je". NO. because those past years, i've been taking lots of medicine. i don't know how drugs make me fat..yup. fat. they are now calling me lemak, gemuk, berisi, chubby, etc. 

so when i found my former schoolmate, "eh eh lamanya takjumpa!kenapa skrg dah berisi?dulu kurus je". honestly, that was really hurt. why? sbb awak mengingatkan saya balik ke zaman dulu yang saya merana kesedihan
sebab terpaksa meninggalkan benda yg saya suka gila. saya dah tak bersukan macam dulu, sebab tu berisi. act i anwered like this "hehe biasala. mcm org ckp hidup bahagia makin berisi la"

okay, taknak membebel cerita lama pasal sukan dah. So now i've been away from any social sites or anything that requires me talking such as phone calling. Sorry, i was going through bad time...because i have to let go the other thing that i love the most. Doc said, i have to let it go that dream to have a job that requires such adventurous activities. so he told me, in case i get the offer to pursue in Geology, i have to reject and apply for something else, like working in the lab only or anything that doesn't need rough activities.

i thought i am over it by now, but i'm still crying while i'm typing this post. 

i have bid my farewell to sports, and now....bye bye my dream job. i believe, there is something better set for me in the future:) 

lol this pic was taken before midnight. nothing can stop me from taking selca yawww